Rowan had her FIRST play date this past weekend she had a ball. The two little girls giggled and ran and held hands and MADE MY HEART EXPLODE. Watching these sweet girls forge friendships with one another was so precious.
One of my favorite quotes that I read recently was:
Who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.
Brene Brown has a section in Daring Greatly on “Wholehearted Parenting” and it is so
awful hard challenging mean amazing. I feel like everything she said I was like, “Well, shit.” She challenges you to think about how you first learn whether or not you’re worthy in your family. And we either set our children up to engage with the world with hope and courage and resilience, or to engage with the world in a way that requires them to fight to re-claim their self-worth because we didn’t show them that they were worthy.
We must be what we want our children to become. We have to practice vulnerability. Embracing our imperfections. We can’t fear feeling ashamed or unlovable. We have to carry a sense of authenticity and belonging within ourselves. We have to feel a deep sense of compassion for ourselves and others.
Compassion and connection can only be learned if they’re first experienced. And those are the two very things that give purpose and meaning to our lives, meaning it is MOST important that we demonstrate those things with our children. Using any form of fear, shame, blame and judgment won’t allow us to raise courageous children. Nor will they allow us to be courageous and hopeful parents.
Rowan is 2. So I feel like I’m just at the beginning of realizing how I view myself and the world and others will be the very fabric of her foundation. The two are inextricably linked. AND THAT SCARES ME TO DEATH. I desperately want to be a “wholehearted parent” but know that it is something that doesn’t just happen. It requires deep internal work, and a constant awareness of my own worthiness.
So here we are at the beginning. Me learning + practicing courage and compassion and praying fervently that those things will settle around Rowan and be a core part of who she is as a person.